1st of January
Dear Diary, Hey! I'm Marceline Dombrovski. I'm 17. My grandma Maria told me to write you -  she said it will be fun to read you in the future. Thanks to this I will remember myself better, she said.
I said: 'There will be no future'.
She said: 'Don't be so pessimistic. He is not the last boy on this planet'.
She doesn't know what is she talking about.
Today is the first day of the 10th year after the end of the world.

2nd of January
Dear Diary, Hey! you are not a human being, so writing like this means acting like you were and I won't do it again. I mean I don't like all this ''dear diary'' thing. Sorry.

I couldn't write much yesterday, because I was quite busy.
A bit of explanation:
 1.	There is no 'boy'. It is a fib created by my grandma 'cause she cannot understand other reasons for being pessimistic at my age.
 2.	The world ended ten years ago, when I was 7. We are all products of our own imagination (or just my own). We are not real. We are dead. And nobody knows about it except me.

3rd of January
Hello! (Dear Diary, you think you won, but I wrote hello to myself, not to you).
I think I have to write more about me. Everything happens only in my brain, but I act as if it was real.

THINGS ABOUT MARCELINE
 1.	weird
 2.	over-dramatic
 3.	wants to be a world-famous artist
 4.	extremely cute

4th of January
School started yesterday but I already want it to end.
Not because I'm being bullied by someone, or I haven't got any friend.
Honestly, I'm just lazy.
'I will buy you a cow and you will open a cheese factory if you don't want to study' says my dad.
Okay.
If I ever learn how to make cheese, I'll think about it.
:<

6th of January
Dear Diary!
Today I've met the love of my life! Like the boy from grandma's fibs became real. It's a pity that he doesn't even know my name. He seems to fancy my best friend, Lucy.
He is blind, little poor sinner.
I'm much more charming than Lucy is.
But I will have mercy on you, sweatheart.
Don't worry.

8th of January
My love gave Lucy a flower. A red rose, actually.
Dude, she hates roses! She also doesn't like any flowers, 'cause she's allergic to them.

I am crazy about flowers, but red roses are a bit infantile.

9th of January
Never mind what I said!
That guy is unbearable. I was wrong. He is not my love, definitely.
Man, he doesn't know what Sex Pistols is.

11th of January
We live in a fool's paradise.
I never talk about my thoughts, because people will laugh at me or rather ignore me ('Haha, you're so funny. Where did you find those theories?')
You always have to tell people what they want to hear. Then they will like you.
People hate the truth because it is the opposite of a lie, which they love.

12th of January
I was chatting with my friend from another city. I asked her what was she doing then. She said: 'Watching TV series. U know, I haven't got my own life, so I have to replace it by something else'.
Sad but true.
I wanted to tell her that she really hasn't got life, but she could misunderstand it.

15th of January
I got A from maths and C from chemistry. Winner's day!

16th of January
Today I imagined a situation – distant future, three women sitting in a cafeteria. They are very, very skinny. They don't drink or eat anything, but they have little pink capsules on plates in front of them.  These capsules contain everything they need to stay alive and they are everything that people eat these days, because traditional food is unhealthy. They are looking at the fashion magazine. On the first page they can see a bit chubby woman, which is the icon of beauty. One of the women in the cafeteria swallows her capsule and says: 'I would do everything to look like her'. 
'But there is a rumour that she eats normal food!' says her friend.
'Eww, that's awful. You might get cancer because of it' says the third woman. 
'You have to suffer if you want to be beautiful'.

18th of January
We have a new girl in our class. She is very talkative. Me and Teddy showed her round the school. She was very excited (we didn't know why). She hasn't closed her mouth even for a minute.
She told us that people say that she's strange because she doesn't have a mum. She hoped we don't mind. Something has hurt me in my heart. 'Of course no!' I said.

19th of January
MARCELINE'S FRIENDS
Lucy:
•	cutie
•	lovely
•	blond hair blue eyes
•	does volunteering
•	sometimes she goes mad without a reason
•	then she becomes vulgar
•	yesterday she wasn't with me and Teddy 'cos she was with her new boyfriend. I'm sure they were listening to some pathetic disco music. I think Lucy really likes him. Why?
•	She loves punk music more than I do
Teddy:
•	people think he's gay
•	he's not
•	brown hair brown eyes
•	listens to indie rock
•	few years ago I told him that I'm dead (I was really upset back then) and he said: 'That's okay, I still like you'. He used to read a lot of books about zombies and vampires when he was 11.

21st of January
I felt really bad today. I called Lucy, but she said she was busy (she was collecting money for sick children).
'But I'm sick too' I said.
'No, you're not'
'You don't care about you BFF. You're nasty'.
'Haha. I'll visit you later, okay? Love you, bye'.
I called Teddy.
He came in 10 minutes.
'Depression day, hm?' 
'Mhm'.
He sat down and started to read a book. He didn't ask me about anything.
Teddy - you are the only person in the world who understands me.

29th of January
Me and my dad visited my grandma today. Her mother came from Poland, so grandma knows Polish a bit. She taught me a few words.
Dziękuję.
Przepraszam.
Do widzenia.

30th of January
I have a few words I like. For instance:
APOCALYPSE
or
AESTETHICS
That shows I am the artistic type.

1st of February
Today I was sitting with the new girl, Asya. She told me that her mum died when she was little. She said that it is easier to manage when when you talk about this.

3rd of February
I always wanted to write a book, but I've never finished any. I think I haven't got enough knowledge about life.

5th of February
New fav word:
FRAGILE
Like human life.
It's funny - you live in one moment and in the next you are gone.

7th of February
I'm sad.
I'm sad.
I'm sad.

9th of February
The guy who was the love of my life for a few days last month asked me today if he had any chance to be with Lucy.
'Never give up on faith' I said.

11th of February
Dad asked me why I was so upset all day.
'You're alive, be happy!' he said.
'No, I'm not' I said.
'I died 10 years ago' I said.
'Everyone did' I said.
'So where is your mum, baby?'
'Maybe she is the only one alive'.

*

I've discovered a new word:
ANATHEMA
(curse)

14th of February
People are unpleasant to me these days, what have I done?

It's Valentine's Day. Teddy gave me a flower. He also gave Lucy one.

15th of February
Something's wrong.

16th of February
The psychologist said it was because I've never really talked about what happened.
Why?
Why cannot they understand me?
Why cannot they understand why I've been doing this my whole life?
Living in an imaginary system.
Being unreal.
I WANTED HER TO BE REAL.

1st of March
WHAT HAPPEND IN MARCELINE'S LIFE
•	I was in hospital
•	Lucy broke up with her boyfriend ('He's an **** I **** hate him why the **** he was even my boyfriend I was **** blind I'm sorry but this **** destroyed my life I wasn't using **** bad words for a **** month')
•	someone bought me flowers
•	I had a serious talk with my dad
•	he said that mum is alive but in a different world and that doesn't mean that we are dead
•	he said that I should never blame myself for what happened 'cause if I have died mum's heart would be broken for ever
•	I'm alive
•	It's quite nice to be alive
•	now I think about being dead really rarely
•	instead of this I often think about being alive
•	ALIVE is my new favourite word

15th of March
A strange person at the bus stop asked me if I wanted to hear a story. I said yes.
'We are all dead. The world ended 10 years ago. Now we all just think we are alive. The life is only an idea, imagination. We are unreal. No one believes in this. I'm alone' the person said
'Haha, you're so funny' I said. 'Where did you find those theories?'